You asked for help with one basic chore: take out the trash. A little bit later you discover your partner failed to do it. When you ask why it didn’t get done, your partner replies “I never heard you ask me”. Crazy how that works, how your partner didn’t hear the one thing you requested from them. This “selective hearing” is a common indication that communication is breaking down.
We have the tendency to view selective hearing as a negative, kind of like it’s a character defect. Accusing someone of selective hearing is saying they weren’t listening to you. But selective hearing could actually be related to untreated hearing loss instead of a short attention span.
Selective hearing – what is it?
You’ve most likely had at least one or more situations in your life where somebody has accused you of not listening, even if no one specifically used the term “selective hearing”. When you miss all the stuff you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the bit about the chocolate cake, but you don’t hear the part about the calories. That sort of thing.
As a behavior, selective hearing is incredibly common. But this behavior is more prevalent in men than women, according to some studies.
It might be tempting to make some assumptions about that (and the way that people are socialized definitely does play a part in how this behavior is contextualized). But hearing health is likely another major component. If your “selective hearing” begins to become more common, it might be an indication that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Hearing loss can produce gaps in communication
Undiagnosed hearing loss can indeed make communication much harder. You’re most likely not shocked by that.
But one prominent indication of hearing loss is communication problems.
When hearing loss is in those really early stages, there won’t be very many noticeable symptoms. Your tv might get a little louder. When go out to your local haunt, you have a difficult time hearing what people are saying. You probably just assume it’s because of the loud music. And so, besides that, you could go through the majority of your day-to-day life without even noticing the volume of the world around you. Your hearing can slowly deteriorate because of this. You hardly notice the issue until you’re at the point where you regularly have difficulty hearing conversations.
Your hearing health is concerning your partner
You will notice some of the people in your life are starting to worry. Yes, selective hearing is a rather common aggravation (even more irritating when you already feel as if no one is listening to you). But as it turns out more and more often, aggravation might turn to worry.
So, your partner may recommend you schedule a hearing test to determine if something is wrong.
It’s significant to pay attention to your partner’s concerns. Have an open discussion with them and accept their help because they care about your well-being and aren’t just aggravated with you.
Other early signs of hearing loss
If your selective hearing has become worse over time, it may be worth keeping an eye out for some of these other early signs of hearing loss. A few of those signs include:
- Having a tough time making out consonants
- People sound distant or muffled when they speak
- Turning up the volume on your mobile phone, television, or radio
- Needing to ask others to talk louder or slow down
- Trouble hearing in crowds
If you experience any of these symptoms, it’s worth calling us and getting a hearing test.
Always safeguard your hearing
It’s critical that you take measures to protect your ears in order to prevent hearing loss. If you can’t stay away from overly loud noise, be certain you wear hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Any feathers that you might have ruffled with your selective hearing can be smoothed over by wearing hearing aids to communicate more successfully.
In most situations throughout your life, selective hearing will be an artifact of a diminishing attention span. But when you (or someone around you) observes your selective hearing getting worse, you may want to take that as an indication that it’s time to have your hearing tested.
